a beautiful relationship

 

There are two situations in any relationship 

one is care and commitment.

Second is get and forget.

The first is mutually supporting and caring for the other person. Not only care and respect and consideration for the good of the other person but also for all things connected to her/him. It is giving. It is commitment. It is commitment in the sense that the caring concern is lasting and enduring and not just momentary. This is what is true love. 

 The second situation is exploitative of the other person. Get whatever you can from the other person and forget about her/him. Exploit his/ her love for you and squeeze whatever you can, without caring a hoot for the harm to the other person now and in future. There is no consideration for her/his people connected and eventual difficulties. It is “Just momentary”, like the one night stands. This is what is Outrage.

  

 I was designing furniture for a huge college. During my information research, I came across a scratched graffiti on the student’s desk. Knowing that Graffiti is uninhibited, free expression of people, i read carefully and one of the scratches said – ‘Will you catch me if I fall for you?” To me this reflected the biggest question in every youths mind today. In real love you catch the other person with soft flowers to cushion her/ him. In deceptive love you let the other person fall at your feet and make her/ him your cushion. such situation applies to any relationship between two entities. If we apply the same situation to mans relationship with nature we have a true idea of sustainability. All the present problems of ecology – pollution, global warming, environmental degradation etc are a result of mans exploitative relationship with nature. we get whatever we can, in whatever way we can from nature and conveniently forget her. no consideration for her replenishment and no consideration for other beings who share her/part of her and their need to exist. This attitude has come to us from capitalist countries where selfishness is celebrated and success is measured in terms of materialistic wealth, without caring for all that is connected to us and without caring for long time implications lying ahead. thus we continually outrage nature, squeezing every bit, accumulating a lot and wasting most. when nature cries in pain, we complain. We complain about weather change, earthquakes and tsunamis. what else can we expect? As long as we are in the love relationship with nature, we are very happy as we care for each other and have lasting relationship. 

 India has great tradition of love and care both in personal relationships and in ecological relationships. It is an attitude. If you have it, you have it in whatever you do. bicycle still is largely used by common man in India. I look at the Great Hindu epic Ramayana as a love story. Sage Valmiki one day observed a pair of Crouncha birds, making love. When one of them was killed by a hunter, the other bird did not fly away but hovered around the other dead one crying pitiously. This incident moved and inspired the sage to write Ramayana, which is the story of separated couple. At one level it is man to woman relationship where the commitment succeeds. At another level it is man to nature relationship where the success of man is entirely due to his loving relationship with monkeys, respect to the ocean and help of the mountain 'sanjeevani'. 

 Our tradition is to worship trees, plants, birds, animals and even insects. it is so because Hinduism so long ago realized the interconnectedness in nature of all beings, what we call today grandly as ecological balance. When a tribal needs wood to build his hut, he selects a tree, but before cutting prays her to forgive him for taking away her life for his selfish need. he prays to all birds and insects living on or under the tree to forgive him for taking away their home to build his home. What a beautiful respect and care for others in an illiterate tribal!

 This is really high culture. Such concern for others is harmony and love. if you don't respect the other, you are uncultured. Such sustainability is vitally required today in our relationship with nature as well as in our personal relationships with others if we wish for an enduring, lasting happiness and peace in our lives. Most of our mental and physical miseries are because of our failure to do so. it is not just a matter of saving petrol or saving trees. it is this larger understanding of the beautiful relationship and reverence to it is the need of today.

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